Linger

Memories, like ghosts, can come back to haunt you.

When I became the person I have become today, I thought I had freed myself of my ghosts. I didn't know I harbored insecurities, bitternesses, paranoias born of things long past, dealt with, dead and buried.

If I could just breathe easy... not have to think for a moment...maybe I could fix this.

If I could actually stop wanting to be stuck in a moment... perhaps I could get out.

Naivete has always been my biggest failing, and the only person the consequences have ever targeted...is me.

I make the same mistakes over and over again.

My integrity is inviolable... but my loyalties misplaced.

My point of support has always been outside of me... that can only last so long...

I dream too big

I gamble too much

I care too much... about all the wrong things...and all the things that matter languish in the dark.

I am groping in the dark... which isn't very unusual.

I can't tell happiness from the absence of sorrow.

I don't know sleep unless its induced by exhaustion.

...what I'm really saying is... I need to get a grip. And find my way again.