morpheus on a leash...

When awareness
Is all I ask...
When my senses
Fill me
With this
Fading symphony
Of glory...
Beyond my
wildest dreams.
When all I
ask
Is to feel...

Where desire
Ends at
wishing
to believe
All that
is assailing
my tantalised senses
is indeed
more than
a fictious
production
Of my somnolent
...dreaming
mind.

Because finally...

Nobody is great...
Nothing is great.
Because everything
and everyone
is so transient...
How can anything
be great
...if it is
only a passing fancy
of the cosmos???

its a looong story....

Ever wanted something?...no not like you'd like it, or like to have it...I mean really want it. Crave for it...with every pore of your being, only to have it dance away from you on tiny quicksilver feet- to someone you really wouldn't snatch it away from...no matter how much your soul ached for that very thing...that you wanted to be...
...maybe that is why it was handed to them in the first place...with that very diabolical thought wedged...rotten in the twisted crevices of that crooked mind...how very original...to use your love for the reciever...to protect the recieved.Knowing that in giving it to that very person...it would be snatched away from your hopeful fingers...

Pain...you denial of desire...dont mock...

...To find such an impegnable sheath...so intricately woven...each denial...each obstacle placed in your path...so intricate...so well thought out...

I hadn't believed it was possible...such calculated cold cruelty...it still shocks me...and at some fundamental level...it always will.They say you have to be stong to take loss...denial...what if i'm just tired of being denied???